Contradiction is my style

Archive for the tag “library”


Hello all you lovely people,

It’s been a while since my last post; I know this. Why you ask? I can give you many reasons. My laziness, school getting in the way, me forgetting I have a blog, and me just not having anything interesting to talk about. That sums it up basically. Let’s move on.

Time is such a fickle concept. As it moves on things change and there isn’t much to do about it. You meet people and you either stay in contact all the time or lose touch over time. You gain interests and develop skills or passions over time or you grow tired and bored of them and they become distant memories. It is all on how you manage your time.

And I am bad at time management.

I sit for hours a day doing absolutely nothing of what I want and never change my ways. And yet I wonder where all my time goes. I talk to some people on almost a daily basis and don’t give time to others that I care about. And yet I wish for the day that I’ll get back into contact with old friends.

During the semester I try to focus all my energy on school but still end up wasting so many hours and stressing towards my deadlines.

I never really end up having the time to do things that I want like reading for pleasure, reading blog posts from blogs I follow (I am so many months behind on all of them because I just gave up during the semester and I plan to read everything now), watching shows I enjoy, working out, practicing my drums, and enjoying myself with friends. I just stare at the computer screen for too long and make no progress on anything. And I hate this but I know I wont change myself after making this post.

I’ve made friends and lost contact with those people so rapidly because I don’t dedicate the time they deserve to me.

And in keeping with time, I worry too much about my future. I feel like I have to do so much right now in my life just to be able to give myself a bright future. I have to get internships and straight As or I wont be successful, or so it seems. But as time moves on, these things become harder to accomplish.

It is already 2016 and this year I will be turning 20. I find it hard to wrap my head around the fact that I have almost already lived two full decades. I don’t ever remember sometimes that I turned 19 or that 2015 was as long as a year should be.

Time is just strange to me. And as you can tell by how jumbled and short my statements are, I can’t even fully analyze my thoughts on time. It just flies by, for better or worse, and you can never turn back. A quote I’ve heard many times is “This moment is the oldest you’ve ever been and the youngest you’ll ever be again.” It’s amazing how true that quote is.

I’m looking back on my post that I made at the end of 2014 about goals I wanted to achieve during 2015. Since I have been a ghost for the most part of 2015 I guess I’ll tell you all what I accomplished and what I didn’t. I finally did get a medal in cross country. I was so happy that day that for the first time that I can remember I had legit tears of happiness in my eyes. I have improved my GPA. It’s not awesome like I had hoped for but I am up to a 3.35 now, so I am still in the honors program. I have improved my writing somewhat thanks to the first half of a two semester course that I am taking that is training me to be a tutor in the writing center at my school. You probably can’t tell though from my blogs because I just free write here and I always see mistakes only after hitting publish. I read some books, but nowhere nearly enough to where I want to be. I do use a website called Goodreads to keep track of my books and all that I want to read. Socialize more? I think I did the same amount as I usually do (maybe slightly more but I am often found in my hobbit hole aka room). Leave my comfort zone more? I did try new things, whether it be food or whatnot, but no where near enough. I’m just permanently stuck inside my bubble of comfort. Everything else I planned for 2015 was basically a bust. Like I said before, I am terrible at time management and I never get around to what I want to do. I just do things that temporarily bring me joy.

In 2015 though I did get a new job (and finally left the library after four years), I met so many new people, and I had fun. I’ve heard many people (via shared facebook posts of tumblr posts) claim that 2015 was a terrible year and I disagree. While it wasn’t the best year in my life, I can’t say it was the worst. I still have so much time ahead of me and I just wish I knew how to make the most of it.

I really don’t have too much else to say. I just wanted you all to know that I am still alive and well. Posts will still be coming, as infrequently as they do. And I hope that you all make the best of the time you have laid out for you.

Your friend,
For all of time


Browsing Books

My people! My post! M- I don’t know where I am going with this.

I wanted to post this yesterday so that you wouldn’t go a month without content from me but instead I went back through old posts to edit them and fix typos. That, and February is a short month so I am sorry.

Anyway. BOOKS! FUN! (And if you’re one of those who do not agree with that statement, scroll down to the paragraph that starts in bold, I have some words for you).

As I have mentioned before I love reading books. I always have ever since I was a little kid. I even work in a library, not that I get a discount or anything because it is a library, but still, BOOKS!

When I was a kid I always read books that had something to do with animals, mainly dogs. I also liked The Magic Treehouse series, Junie B. Jones, Cam Jansen, A to Z Mysteries, Children of the Lamp, but mainly books on dogs. Besides the astronomy books that I couldn’t get enough of in third and fourth grade I never read much in nonfiction. Since that time my tastes have grown and my reading level has matured. However, whenever I have to do work in the children’s section of the library I get happy when I see a book that I remember reading years and years ago.

I also remember back when I was in fifth grade my teacher always assigned us different jobs to do in the classroom. One of the jobs that I was assigned, which was my favorite and lasted until the end of the school year, was organizing the books that we had in the classroom. In elementary school we had a system where books were labeled A-Z based on difficulty and generally students would progress down the alphabet at time went on. My job was to make sure that all the books were in their correct baskets based on their letter. At the end of the school day I would go through each individual basket and make sure no book was misplaced. This must be why I am so good at my job today.

In middle school I started reading a little more fantasy books as well as realistic fiction book. I remember once in 6th or 7th grade we had a section in English class for biographies. I got the book She Said Yes, which is only 100something pages long. However, in that three week time period I never finished it. The next book I read was a 600paged historical fiction book that I finished in about four days. It always amazes me how books that I have no interest towards can take so long to finish.

In 7th grade, when every other girl in the school was obsessed with the Twilight Saga, I started reading my favorite book series ever. The Ranger’s Apprentice by John Flanagan. I still haven’t read the last two books in this series and despite the fact that they are technically children’s book, I will finish the series! After Children of the Lamp, this fantasy series is what made me fall in love with that genre and since then I have read countless amounts of fantasy and sci-fi books. Not surprising after seeing all I have posted about in the past.

In 8th grade I started hanging out with my friends at my local library. We’re the cool kids right? Playing Apples to Apples amongst shelves of books while everyone else around our age went outside to do stuff. I decided to get myself a library card, because for years I didn’t have one, and I started reading so many books from the Young Adult section in the library. Kevin Brooks became one of my favorite authors, as well as Ellen Hopkins, Darren Shan, Kelly Armstrong, Ally Carter, and many more.

In high school I became close with the librarian that we had. I went to the school’s library quite often to take out books or to talk with her about school. In my freshman year one morning when I was looking for something to read I stumbled across a book called Shadows by John Saul. Intrigued by the blurb I decided to take it out and read it. From that moment on John Saul has become my most favorite author and I am still waiting for him to finish writing his next book, but in the meantime I have so many more by him that I have yet to read. He is a suspense/thriller author and his books are pretty creepy but I love them. I would often go after school to the library near my house to take out his books as well as many others, but only when it was in the months that I was able to wear my uniform pants and not the skirt that I abhorred. In my sophomore year of high school I found out that we had a library club and I joined up immediately. I became president of this club almost right away because I was the only one who showed up to all of the meetings. The club was more of a gossip club with the librarian about the other faculty and students but as time moved on we actually did start to read books and discuss them. This was also the year that, after doing my sophomore volunteer service there, I got my job at the library that my friends and I always hung out at in 8th grade. By the end of my sophomore year I decided that it was time I join a majority of the world and plunge myself into the Lord Of The Rings. I took out this brick of a book that had all three books in one from my school library. I wasn’t able to fit it in my school bag so I carried it around and everyone joked that it was my Bible based on its size. It took me five months to finish reading all three books and then another month to finish reading The Hobbit. After that I finally, for the first time in my life, watched the movies. In my sophomore year I also started reading the I Am Number Four series with my best friend (WHO IS STILL ON BOOK TWO AND I FINISHED BOOK FIVE AND GIRL YOU NEED TO READ THE DAMN BOOKS I KNOW YOU READ MY BLOG).

In junior year I started making a list of all the fiction, classic, and nonfiction book I want to read. I can honestly say that this list grows longer and longer all the time, rarely ever do I cross books off the list. Not that that is a bad thing at all. Also this year in my school we had a book fair in the library to get rid of old books to make room for new books. Since I was president of library club I helped out in setting up all the books and this basically meant I got first dibs. Each book was 25 cents and I don’t remember how many books I got, but it was more than enough that I had to keep many of the books in the empty locker below mine for days and take a few home at a time. Books are too damn expensive to be bought in large numbers at a time. In senior year I found out bad news on the day before Thanksgiving break. The beloved librarian in my school was leaving us for a new job at a public elementary school in Brooklyn and it started as soon as we got back from break. This meant no more library club. No more morning chats with the librarian and my friends. I was so upset so I made her a little farewell card out of loose-leaf from one of my notebooks and I got a bunch of other girls who were close to her to sign it. One of my friends noticed that I was legitimately sad about the librarian leaving and asked if I was gonna cry, to which I lied and sucked up my emotions because everyone in my grade for some reason wanted to see me cry. I forgot when but in either my junior or senior year I read what has become my favorite book of all time. The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern. This book is a combination of fantasy, steampunk, romance, and magic. This is Erin’s debut novel and I cannot wait for her to finish writing her next book. While I was reading this book I was on the edge of my seat the entire time, never knowing what was going to happen next. Also with all the imagery she included I felt that I was actually at the circus, tasting the foods, smelling the smells, hearing the joy and excitement, experiencing the mystical events that occurred in each of the tents. This is the only book I have ever considered re-reading (I am not a big fan of that plus I let my best friend borrow it and she has yet to read it) because it was just so amazing. And in my senior year I read The Golden Compass and the two books of the trilogy that came after that. I finished all three books in a month because it was an amazing series, butchered completely by the movie, as most books are.

I will always read the book before I see the movie/show because I don’t want the movie/show to spoil the book. I know some people who prefer watching the movie/show before picking up the book because it gives them a clearer image of the characters and when they stumble across parts that were not in the director’s version they get excited to see what else there is. I think that is good for them, I just prefer books more and that usually leads to me getting angry at the film/show for not following detail by detail of what happened. Even the Lord Of The Rings and The Hobbit films which were as spot on with the book as I could remember had things that weren’t in the books or they left things out and that upset me. The movies are over two hours long each, Peter Jackson, you have enough time to include everything without making up fake story lines.

As you can see books have always been important to me. I just love picking up those dead trees and being magically transported to a new world. However, when it comes to reading for school I usually do not find the same pleasure. As do most students, which is way (I believe) the literary rates in America have gone down so much. In school we are forced to read books that do not interest us and dissect them to find meanings below the surface. As much I love reading, I can never find the deeper meanings of books, which always upsets me because I know I am not getting the full enjoyment of the book. This brings me to my next topic…

NONREADERS, why do you not read? Is it because it bores you? You think there are no books out there that you’ll enjoy? What if I told you that there are books for everyone, not just the stuffy old Jane Austen or John Steinbeck novels you were forced to read in high school? If you skipped down to here then you missed the big part of me writing about how my taste in books grew as I got older. Believe me when I say it, your tastes have changed too. Sure Austen may still be a bore to you, she sure is to me, but that doesn’t mean that the classics are the only books out there. I have read books from all different genres: fantasy, sci-fi, mystery, suspense/thriller, graphic novel/comics, hell even romance. There are so many types of books and I can assure you there is something out there you like. What I want to say is think of the movies and TV shows you like. I am sure there has to be at least some pattern in that. If not, think of things you are passionate about or are just really interested in. You can find fiction and nonfiction books on all of those things. Like sports? There’s a plethora of books on sports. Like cars? Same thing. Like sparkly vampires battling with werewolves for the heart of a teenage girl? You have issues but there are books for you too. Just simply search in Google “Fiction books on (blank)” or “Authors who write about (blank)” and you will find endless options. And don’t feel ashamed if the book is targeted for people younger than you, that only means it will be a faster read. Hell, my favorite book series is a children’s series and I am not afraid to admit it. The more you read the more your tastes will grow and eventually you’ll become a regular at your local library or Barnes and Nobel. Reading leisurely is really an amazing thing and it’ll open you up more. Sure you may not become like one of the freshmen I knew when I was a senior who read at least a book a day, but you may become a book a month or book a week kind of person. You don’t have to continue reading my post/blog now if you want, do what you want with my advice but at least do the Googleing part, you never know what you’ll find. And if you want any suggestions just comment on here.

My brother is a nonreader. However, when he was younger he used to love reading. He read Eragon, almost all of the Harry Potter books, the Artimis Fowl series, I think he read A Series of Unfortunate Events, but most of all he loved reading sports books. His fifth grade teacher told him one day that he shouldn’t read his beloved sports books and choose other types of books to read. This was one of the worst things that a teacher could do to a developing child. Why? Well because he wasn’t allowed to read sports book he decided to not read any books at all. He is turning 22 in a month and I don’t remember the last time I ever saw him read. His teacher took away the joy he had for reading when she should have encouraged him to read those sports books. One day he would have started reading other genres but now that will never happen. That just goes to show you, nurture a child’s habits and eventually it’ll turn into something great.

I really think that everyone should read. I know it is hard to find the time or the right book but I think that everyone should make it a priority to flip through pages of novels. I myself do not read enough, especially not enough non-fiction or books of worth (AKA, the classics) and I am not the fastest of readers, but when I get into a book I am at ease. If any of you want book suggestions, do not be afraid to ask because I love recommending books. And if any of you know of books that you think I should read please tell me, I don’t care what type of book it is I will do my best to read it. I love to discuss books with people but sadly not enough people that I know read the same books that I do. And if you’re a reader who has too many nonreader friends (one is too many) suggest the same advice I gave in my paragraph for nonreaders, they may thank you one day. I feel I could say so much more about book and reading but I think I covered as much as I wanted to.

Your friend,
The book worm

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