Contradiction is my style

The Return

Hello lovelies,

It’s been a minute, hasn’t it? Since my last post (which I briefly skimmed to try to refresh me on where my mind was at last time I wrote) I have done so much and yet it feels like so little. I actually forgot about my blog (I took the link off of my Twitter and Facebooks when I did my several social media purges last year) and I also for some reason stopped receiving emails whenever a blog I followed posted an update. So time went by and I saw no reason to blog. You know what that means right? No? Yes? Maybe? Yeah you in the back, speak up! Eh, it means it’s time for another super long post!

This post is going to be all over the place. This post is gonna be filled with grammatical errors and types like usual. This post is (possibly) gonna go deeper into my head than I have before. Now before we jump right in I’ll give a warning, I have no idea if/when I’ll post again so, as usual, don’t expect this to be a normal occurrence. Just know I love all of you for taking the time to read my words; for the <10 of you that aren’t my friends IRL and are reading this, I don’t know what made you click subscribe but I appreciate it. And to those of you who are friends with me in person or somewhere, you may know some of this but time to learn more about me.

Since I’ve Been Gone

Well since my last post I eventually started up my second semester of sophomore year in college. I remember barely training for my (first) half-marathon and finishing that in 2:18:43. I’m hoping to do another one soon. I remember learning (slightly) more about politics and (especially after the situation from my last post) coming to the realization that I am a conservative. I know this may upset people, so I will shut up after the next sentence about politics. I am proud of who I am and I am open minded to others opinion, not that it’ll change mine without hard facts, but at the same time I know my place and I realize I have a lot to learn to defend my own stances and therefore I stay quiet whenever things come up that I know I cannot argue.

I made it through this second semester with four As and a B+ (which annoyed me greatly because all we did in that class was watch movies and I wrote word for word what my professor wanted in the papers but she even told my friend who had her in the next semester that she doesn’t like giving out As; I’ve pushed that class aside). I didn’t take any amazing classes that semester but I did enjoy myself. I took the second half of a class that trains students to be writing tutors at my school’s writing center. I enjoyed it somewhat but at the same time I never felt 100% comfortable while tutoring so when I was offered a paid position I kindly refused. I also took a class which was about the sociology of the family and it was interesting, despite the full 99 pages of notes I copied in that class. My honors class was a good one with a professor who specializes in corrections and rehabilitation/re-entry programs. That woman is one of the kindest ladies I ever met and she truly cares for every student that walks through her classroom doors. She is a pure sweetheart and after the troubles I had the semester before, she was a breath of fresh air. And I also took the first of two Spanish classes that I needed to take. I had an easy professor and in both of my classes I some how got an A (I took him again in the next semester), but I didn’t really learn much Spanish.

I had fun with friends throughout the spring and summer, if only briefly, and I met plenty of new people. I started training for cross country during the summer but I had such a weak mental game which crossed over into the first month or so of my season. I felt like I was running more as an obligation for my team rather than out of joy. I had a pretty weak season but eventually this mentality went away and I was able to get back into the groove.

During the summer I went on the honors program trip to Pennsylvania (oh my god I spelt that right on the first try). We went white-water rafting (where I had to save my friend Dan after he fell off the raft, despite him being a good 50 pounds heavier than me), we visited the Eastern State Penitentiary (ok so I can spell Pennsylvania right the first time but I can’t spell a word I hear all the time in school correctly? Damn you!), we visited some sciencey museum, we walked around Philly (my friends and I joke that we joined a cult because we stopped and listened to this pseudo-religious group’s live concert in a park at night), and we went to Hershey Park (but it rained that day so most of the rides weren’t working). It wasn’t as adventurous as DC but it was still a great time with my friends.

I also took a summer course (something about research methods) for three weeks because I had no interest in having a heavy work load during the fall semester with cross country season. It went fine and I am glad I didn’t take that class for 15 weeks because that would have been miserable. I also took an online winter course (literature) which I am glad I took in the winter because I would have no been able to balance all the reading and work for that class along with 3-4 other courses at the same time for 15 weeks.

Jumping backwards, during July at work (did I tell you I left the library and now work as an usher in a theater? Yes no maybe? Well now you know) we had Lincoln Center Festival which is three weeks of intense work. Shows non-stop day after day after day. It was pretty cool and I got a pretty pay check at the end of it all. I ended up working on my birthday because I 1. don’t care about my birthday and 2. wanted to take off the week after because my favorite band was coming to NYC. Somehow I made it through that crazy non-stop work. I did go to the Viking’s exhibit at the Discovery Museum on my birthday with my family before work but nothing else exciting happened.

And now I get to see my favorite band, Starkill, live for the first time ever. I was following this band for years, since 2011 before they were signed and back when they were called Massakren. Whenever they came to NYC I either was working, was too young for the venue they were at, or I had my drum lessons. The band had recently started doing live streams on Facebook and, as usual, I was very interactive with commenting and such. When my friend Dan and I get to the show (his first concert if you don’t count Warped Tour which his now-ex miserably dragged him to the year before) it was awesome. The energy was high and all of the bands slayed (of course I will be biased and say Starkill had the most energy). After the show we went down to the merch area and Starkill does all their own stuff cause they are broke and can’t afford roadies. Dan and I talk to the rhythm guitarist for a while and he is a really down to Earth dude who just loves what he does (the whole band is actually). I wanted to buy a shirt but sadly they had no girlie tees. I then talked to the lead guitarist/vocalist and I told him how awesome the show was and that I’d been wanting to see them for ages. He then goes “Does your name happen to be Michelle?” and I say yes so he tells me he has to give me a hug (which he did) because he knew that I had been wanting to see them for years. That is probably my favorite concert moment ever because these guys care so much about their craft and their fans that they happened to recognize their fans at shows. They are the best and I will support them forever.

Anywho, back to school we go. Cross country season is going decently and I am only taking four classes because I realized I usually do worse during the fall semester (and one of them is online so once the season ended I had a wide open schedule).

Through the honors program I was given the chance to have free private piano lessons with Caroline Stoessinger, a world renowned pianist, author, professor, and who knows what else except that this woman is amazing and so patient when it come to teaching me. I am so grateful for these lessons and I am learning more and more about music every time.

My classes trudge on by (I was also taking MUS 120, which is a piano class, with one of my favorite professors) and expect for my music class I really don’t care about any of them. My online class was cool, The Sociology of Violence, but my honors class and my Spanish class were drags. I made it out of the semester all right (with a lot of stress at the end though when everything got piled up) and had my best semester yet (3 As and and A-, also if you are wondering, I got As in my winter and summer classes).

Towards the end of the semester there were some shifts in work in regards to who is working where and my manager asked me to be her administrative assistant so ya girl has an extra experience position now on her resume. Other than that, not too much happened. I went to another concert with Dan to see Huntress, Sabaton, and Trivium (he left with his buddy after Sabaton and I stayed for Trivium. So glad I did because I hadn’t listened to them before and now I am a fan, they were AMAZING! And the crowd was insane, I almost had someone break my glasses by smashing into me). I also went to a Children of Bodom concert during finals with one of my teammates because it was an early Christmas present from my mom. It was alright but I had seen them twice before and we were both stressed and tired from final so we left early (there was also a way too strong odor of weed floating around the venue which bothered us both).

Holidays passed, I enjoyed time with friends, suffered through time with family. Oh, an update on them, my brother is joining the Marine Corps. He reports to boot camp in May.

I went on a one day ski trip with the Honors Program during January. It was fun, my friends and I had a blast. Other than that January was uneventful with work and my lit class (actually, that’s a lie. I started working out doing strength training so I can hopefully be fast in my final cross country season and there was another thing that came up that I think I’ll save for a separate post–yes you’ll actually be getting more of me soon enough).

Now the current semester (the second part of my junior year) begins and OH. MY. GOD. am I stressed every day. I am back to taking five classes, three of which are 300-level sociology courses to just about finish my major. All of them have professors who claimed they wanna treat us like graduate students (which is just torture). I am also talking an online history class that has work due twice a week and my textbook never arrived for that class so every week I am in the library scanning the next chapter I need to read. My only oasis is my songwriting course. In one sociology class I have to write a 20 page grant proposal for my final and I only just recently thought of a potential idea (well, ideas. I am gonna be using this professor as my capstone mentor for my honors senior thesis and so I am gonna base THAT on whatever I make my grant proposal, less work for me. My three ides are 1. The troubles veterans face re-integrating in civilian life, 2. Substance abuse in veterans, or 3. The affects on marriage from the military) so I am still panicking about that. My second sociology course wants us to write a 15-20 page research paper on anything to do with social order (again, gonna do something with military but I can’t think of anything and i hate that course because I can’t think or understand abstract/philosophical thoughts). And in my last sociology course my professor doesn’t teach us. At all. She either reads from a page she already gave us, has a guest speaker, or has us present on the readings we were supposed to read. It is so boring and that makes me sad because the topic is penology (basically, the study of prisons from a sociological stand point) and it could be so interesting but she makes it so meh. It is an easy A though, so that is good. Some how I will survive until May. Because after this semester I just need to take one more class for my major, two more for my minor, one more honors class and I am done with my requirements! I do have to take two extra classes in fall just so I can be a full time student while I am a student-athlete. I wanted to pick up a writing minor but the requirements changed before I added it and now I can’t do it because the courses I need are barely available. I will take a creative writing course though just for fun.

I am also heavily stressing about post-bachelors Michelle. I just recently started to consider social work (focusing on veterans and military families) but I’m not sure because I have been so adamant about not wanting to go to grad-school and I need a MSW for that (plus it is low pay for high stress). I realized that federal law enforcement would not be something that I am passionate about enough to go to work every day. I am at such a loss of what I will do when I graduate that I am both excited and dreading May 2018 when I walk across the stage in my cap and gown.

Winding down, I got to see Starkill again in February (Dan got the day of the show mixed up so I actually went to my first solo concert) and again the guitarist recognized me; he even added me as a friend on Facebook after the show! I got a hoodie because again they did not have girlie tees (I scolded the guitarist for that). I’ve been able to work a lot (mo’ money mo’ happy) and enjoy time with my friends.

I’m planning on having another post sometime this week about a topic I’ve purposely avoided for a while since I had my blog linked to my other social media (all of which will be explained there) but now that nobody can trace this (easily) back to me, I see no reason to hold back.

Now you’ve been caught up, basically, with my life since my last post. Any more updates? Hmm, I have become obsessed with hot chocolate (no joke)…… I really can’t think of anything that I haven’t touched on already or will touch on soon. So for now, I will bid you all farewell. Thank you for waiting patiently at your computers for me to emerge from the darkness, I know my silence has been killing you. I hope my stay isn’t short but no promises. Until next time

Your friend,
Who hasn’t forgotten about you


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