OxyButNotaMoron

Contradiction is my style

The Grammys And Other Award Shows

Tonight is one of the most pointless nights in music, The Grammys. This award show has plagued the music industry for 56 years. In the past I am sure it wasn’t as much of a joke as it is today. Sadly, though, it is now a place where everyone who is played on z100 can gather together and combine their powers against music to create a monstrosity that is viewed on the televisions of millions of people worldwide. There are 82 categories  for awards and I will now list the number of possible awards for each genre that is listed on the website

Alternative- 1
American Roots- 6
Arranging- 2
Childrens- 1
Classical- 8
Comedy- 1
Composing- 1
Country- 4
Dance- 2
Engineer- 2
Film/TV/Media- 3
General- 4
Gospel- 5
Historical- 1
Jazz- 5
Latin- 4
Music video/film- 2
Musical Show- 1
New Age- 1
Notes- 1
Packaging- 2
Pop- 4
Producer- 2
R&B- 5
Rap- 4
Reggae- 1
Remixer- 1
Rock- 4
Spoken- 1
Surround sound- 1
Trad pop- 1
World- 1
Yes those do add up to 82. Now that I see this all laid out I am actually shocked by how little pop awards there are. But let’s look at the show. During the three and a half hours that the Grammys are on there will be 24 live performances (most of which are rap, hiphop, R&B, trance, house, dance, etc. All of these I just call pop as an umbrella term). Let’s just say each performance plays a single, four minute song. That will equal 96 minutes, so we still have a little less than two hours left. Now commercial breaks occur, let’s say, once every ten minutes and each break is about 3 minutes long. That means there will be 21 commercial breaks or 63 minutes of commercials. This leaves a little less than an hour for the awards. With presentation and acceptance speeches for each award, as well as the short snipits of each nominee, there is no way that all 82 categories will  be televised. According to Wikipedia there are four categories, known as the Big Four (The Big Four in my book is Slayer, Megadeth, Metallica, and Anthrax) so you know that those definitely have to be on air at some point. They are record/album/song of the year and best new artist. All nominees for these categories are under the umbrella of what I call pop (see above). That’s just great, isn’t it? Anyway, I got off track. Since there is such little time for any award winning (also known as the point of this entire show) during the 3.5 hours it is on, many awards that deserve to be viewed will not. I remember last year Scott Ian of Anthrax told Noisecreep (a metal news website) that the award for best rock/metal performance will be presented in the pre-show. You can bet your horses, or other animals, that will occur again this year. And not just for the rock categories, but also for jazz, classical, engineering, gospel/spoken word, etc. categories.

The thing is, the Grammys are just for the mainstream. Sounds hipsterish but it is true. This award show is only for the “pretty people” that all play songs they didn’t write with computerized music and auto-tuned vocals that are only popular because of the whack-a-do music video. These are the people they talk about on every news station and in every magazine because apparently the lives of celebrities are more important than worldly news. For whatever reason they feel that they need at least one night a year for the whole world to see them together and hear the same damn songs radio stations have on loop every hour for the past six months. The Grammys, VMAs, Teen Choice awards, and any other award show of the like is filled with people who need an ego boost. If you like rock and metal you are lucky enough to have both the Revolver Golden Gods and Metal Hammer Golden Gods award shows that get next to no publicity. If you like classical, jazz, blues, or other good music like that then you’re out of luck, as far as I am aware, because those genres do not have award shows of their own.

To me it is just sad how little talent popular entertainers have. The fact that they all receive awards for the little work they do is infuriating. And the fact that they all make millions while musicians who actually take time and effort to learn their instruments, write their songs, and get their name out into the open are all struggling to get by is a heartbreaking thought. Music is an art, and art is supposed to be an expression of the artist. Sadly, music is now made by computers instead of humans and the most creative things to come out of pop artists is their music videos and outfits. Music is supposed to be about what you hear, not what you see. If the Grammys and every other award show can get that in their heads then maybe things will take a turn for the better. I shall now conclude my rather long rant here.

Your friend,
The Grammy Hater

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